THE SPORK AND THE DUCT TAPE DOE.
Instant Mary Sue 101 flandre495 Style:
1) Find a photo of some dead famous politician. (Lincoln would be nice)
2) Draw rainbow fairy wings and sparkly eyes with different colours on him.
3) Decorate the picture with rainbows and sparkles till it is more sparkly than that Edward Cullen.
4) Give that sparklified politician special, magical powers like a gaze so powerful and succubus that just a quick glance can heal wounds, bring dead people to life, make everyone fall hopelessly in love with him even gays and lesbians and make armpit hairs fall off.
5) Give your sparklified politician a stupid name like Adolf Hitler Sparkly Hikaru Sakura Miyako Kojiro Nadia George Bush Moonshine D'elicious Cirno Frogface Emerald Diamond Sepiroth. (Or the politician's wife's name.)
6) Now mass-ship him with the original politician. Make them fall madly in love which results in absolutely divine gay sex.